Spinning to Ancient Times
by Nozomi-Rai
Summary: A weirdly humorous fic about Yugi and the cast of YGO being transported to somewhere old. By the way, some curses inside.PLEASE R
1. The Test

In Japan.  
  
'Click, click. Click, click' A young boy with a short stature and spiked hair clicked his pen nervously, watching the clock as though hypnotized by its stare. He looked down at his examination paper; only 23 problems were done out of 60.He stared at his friend's paper; he was off worse, 4 problems were filled in. "Mutou Yugi chan! No cheating!!!" screamed Yugi's sensei wildly. Yugi hated him. Him and his foul odor, boastful personality, sinister mind, and boring voice. The clock was ticking; he had seconds to finish the exam. 'Tick, tock. Tick, tock.' 'Buzz' "Noooooo!!!!" screamed Yugi. "Cool it man!" Honda yelled in his ear. "But-but.I'm not done with the-test!!!!!" "Neither have I, Yug," said Jonuchi coolly, "But I tell you what, let's all go to get some milkshakes then we can go to the arcade!" "Yeah!"said Yugi, Honda, and Anzu (Yugi's brown-haired friend) simultaneously. "There's a new arcade in town! Let's go!" Yugi's young mind turned away from the exam at once. As they headed off to get their milkshakes, their sensei turned into.Malik!!! He smiled a malicious smile and then vanished mysteriously, leaving only a patch of dust. When Yugi and his friends left the store to go to the arcade, a murky mist suddenly surrounded them. "What the f***ing hell!" Jonuchi screamed. Everybody would have stared at him, but for the moment, they couldn't see anything. Almost immediately, they were somehow paralyzed. "I can't move," Anzu yelled through the clouds of darkness. They were spun through time and space to an unknown destination. 


	2. A Slave?

When they reached there...  
  
Yugi fell flat on his face. He felt someone box his ears. "Slave, come to the fields and work today. I let you rest; you kept on idling about yesterday, so you must work twice as hard today! The other slaves came quietly, but you? No!!! The other slaves are already working very hard!!! Now come work now and may Ra strike you down if you don't come," screamed a stout old man with a short goatee. "What? Where am I? Who are you?" "Do not act like an ass, child! Now come with me, or you shall be whipped!!" was the harsh reply. "Sincerely, dear sir, I do not know where I am." Yugi said quietly. "You leave me no choice," the old man said while reaching into an earthen basket. He drew out a long brown string, made out of camel hide and very tattered. It was a whip, a cruel whip to hit animals with. "I am not an animal," thought Yugi, "Surely this man shall not discipline me with it! It is probably for his-animal. Not me, his animal" Much to Yugi's fears, the man pulled back his hand and started whipping the short boy. About one hour later, Yugi was covered in blood and his skin was raw. The man, seeing that his work was done, said quietly, "Other masters treat their slaves more harshly than me. I am sorry that I did this to you but I had no choice. Tidy yourself up and fetch some water from the Nile." The man left the small room, leaving Yugi alone. "Nile?" thought Yugi, "The Nile River? Well, there's only one Nile River.and that's in Egypt. I don't think that they keep slaves anymore and when they did. Egypt was ancient Egypt. But that's impossible!!! I live in the 21st century. How the hell did I come back to the years before Christ was born??? Unless- that mist!!! It must've sent me here. But why?" Yugi groaned as he tried to stand up to get water for his 'master'. His aching, raw, red, painful body creaked after an hour of whippings. Still, Yugi Mutou struggled to get up and get the water from the Nile River; which- he later found out- was 3 miles from the house. He walked on, but found that there was a copper weight on his right ankle. Examining it even closer, he found out that it said the stout man's name and a number: 20 ØÎ  
  
Wondering what it was, Yugi wanted to call his 'master' but thought better of it as he looked at one of the whip-scars. The man entered the room and he cast a glance at Yugi. "You have not gone yet? Must I teach you another lesson?" "No, no umm."whimpered Yugi. "I see that you have forgotten my name. Well, that is forgivable. My name is Excavitch, I am a traveler. But you not obeying my orders are unforgivable. I must teach you another lesson. I am sorry for you," Excavitch almost sarcastically wept those words. He slowly opened up a room door and led Yugi into it. He grabbed manacles off the wall and cuffed Yugi. These shackles were heavy and connected to a grey wall. Because these were so high up on the wall, the prisoner had to stand, almost tiptoe for Yugi. There Yugi hung, with chains on his arms and hands, his torso, his legs, and his ankles. "There a couple of nights maybe even a week or two hanging there. You'll learn a lesson: Don't mess around with Excavitch. "I have to get out of here," thought Yugi. His mind searched for a plan, but even if he had one, he couldn't escape; the manacles were tight around his limbs and he could hardly even move. As Excavitch left the room, Yugi struggled to get free, and then he saw it. The key, the metal key that was hardly one meter away from him. But he couldn't reach it. "Ah, yes," Yugi thought, "I'll let Yami do this for me. YU-GI-OH!!! Huh? I'll try again. YU-GI-OH!!! Hello? You stupid millennium puzzle!!! YU-GI-OH!!! This is just not working. Yami, you better get out or else I'll..!!! Yami, when I get out of here, I'm gonna whoop yo ass so hard you'd wish you were never born, boy!" Yami still didn't come out of the puzzle. Yugi yelled for Excavitch, "Uh.master, master!!!" Excavitch came running in. "What is it, slave?" "I have learnt my lesson, master." "Those who say that they learnt their lesson never have," squinted the bearded man. "I have, I have." "Fine then, but just to make sure I'll keep you there for two days more. And I also found another delinquent, incompetent slave. Here he comes. Dog!!! Bow down to your master!" he said to another slave. This slave was also chained to the wall, but his feet were chained, not to the wall, but to a clay mat with sharp thorns all over it. This slave whimpered as the master placed his feet on it. Once the old man had gone away, Yugi turned to the other slave. He seemed strangely familiar. His face was bloody and his blonde hair covered most of it. Still, when this boy looked Yugi in the face, Yugi turned his compassionate eyes toward him and began to realize that this person reminded him of someone. He couldn't remember who, though. It was before he was transported to Egypt. Suddenly, Yugi remembered who this person was: Jounichi Katsuya. "Jounichi!!! Jounichi!!!" Yugi screamed joyfully. "Wait a minute, I think I know you." His memory came back too. "Wait, you're not Egyptian! You're Yugi Mutou! So glad to see you Yugi, I can't believe you're in my dream!!!" "This isn't a dream, Jou," said Yugi quietly, "Remember that dark and really weird mist? It sent us back.to ancient Egypt" "I don't know Yugi, whatever you say." "Come on, we got to get outta here soon and find everybody else. But how to get out of here?" Yugi wondered. 


	3. Meet Father Seto

Meanwhile.  
  
"Muahh Ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha ha *cough* *cough* *vomits out blood*" "Mokuba, are you alright?" Seto asked his little brother. "Yeah," replied Mokuba, still vomiting out blood. Their talk was interrupted by a young man entering the room with a scroll. "Your high priest's scribe wishes for you." "Enter." Two servants appeared and pulled back a veil surrounding Mokuba and his brother. "Your high priest, sir, I beg of your presence." "What news do you bring?" "Good news, sir. The good Hiroto Honda, duke of Alexandria, is betrothed to the queen of Amazons: Shizuka Jounichi. "Why do you bring such news to my attention? Is it my care? Send greetings to the new couple and be gone," said the high priest Seto coldly. "But they-" "How dare you argue with me, dunce? You are dismissed," said he in an even colder tone of voice. "Yes, my master," came the short reply. "Now, Mokuba, just what were you saying before this fool came in?" "Well, I was laughing at- how I would take over the world." "What? I am wicked but surely you are not as well? Mokuba, I have no time for games. I have sacrifices and an entire empire (well, kind of) to run!!!" "Seto, Seto, Seto, you are a strange one. You know, all these years I've been waiting for this moment. I bore through years of saying "Big brother, Big brother". Well, now everything's going to change. You are a big bother- not brother, bother, and a giant pain in the ass. I looked upon you as a scab; I waited for the exact moment to get rid of you. that is now!!! And you know how I will do that amazing feat?" "How- dare you!!!" screamed the astounded Seto Kaiba. "With this," replied Mokuba in a calm manner as he reached into his shirt for a photo. He showed Seto the picture. "Nooo!!!" The picture; it was of. Pegasus J. Crawford getting high on eggnog at a Christmas dinner party! "Oops, I meant, with THIS!!!" Mokuba said as he drew out another picture. The other picture; it showed.Inspector Haga being swallowed by an insect!!! "Yes, it is your doom, your apocalypse, your death!!!!" yelled Mokuba loudly. "Rrriggghhttt," said Seto slowly, wondering if today was April fool's day. "Huh? No, this isn't the right one," said Mokuba; again he searched inside his shirt. Suddenly, a cotton ball fell out of his shirt and onto the floor. "Mokuba, you're not a girl??? I never knew. Why did you keep it away from me, your big brother???" Mokuba, with his face flushed, screamed, "Okay, so what if I'm not a girl!!! Guards take this perverted man to the dungeon at once!!!" "Wait, you haven't showed me that picture yet!!!" Alright.Here it is." Mokuba showed the picture to Seto. The picture.was of Seto holding a knife and a crazed expression on his face. Slightly below the knife, bound to a stone table was- Mokuba!!! Mokuba once again laughed-or tried to laugh-an evil-canivil laugh, but he choked on a piece of salami being stuffed in his mouth by Seto. He pointed his middle finger at Seto, but it didn't mean much in ancient Egypt. In fact, it meant 'I love you dearly' in the ancient times. Still, Seto was taken away, "But not for long!" he spat. "Now I'm high priest! And it's all thanks to that corporate scandal; well actually no, because that was computer-generated, but still, I'm high priest, all shall bow to ME, their high priest!" Mokuba said with a not-so-wicked laugh and a not-very-menacing grin. 


	4. A Way Out

Back.to the latter!!!  
  
Yugi and Jou were still chained to the wall and still wondering how to get out. Exactly one-hour passed- two- three, they were still chained to the wall and still thinking. "Oww.my head hurts," screamed Yugi. "Oww.my head and feet hurt." May I remind you again that he was standing on a clay mat with sharp thorns sticking out of it. "Oh yeah? Well, my feet are cramped up by tiptoeing for 4 hours!!!" "Oh, is it? Well if your feet are hurting what about mine???" Yugi was about to retort back something vile but said instead, "Jou, good friends don't fight." "You're right Yugi, and I have a plan, too." "Okay, let's hear it," replied Yugi in a friendly manner. "Alright. I noticed a shiny thing on the ground and then picked it up. It was a key. I know that it was a key for these chains because I saw him unshackle an unconscious girl using this key. See that key all the way over there?" Yugi glanced at the shiny metal key on the ground. Jou continued, "It's a fake. My uncle was a goldsmith and he knows keys. I learnt a bit from him and I know that it's a fake. Don't ask me why. Anyway, the real key is in my shoe, but I can't reach it. You can though; see how you are tiptoeing? Just reach into it and take the key" Thankfully, Yugi didn't wear socks today and he, being so skillful and all, managed to take the key and unshackle himself somehow. After unshackling his ankles, Yugi started removing Jounichi's shackles when he heard Excavitch coming. Quickly, he removed Jounichi's cuffs and jumped out of the window, which, unfortunately, was 5 meters off the ground. However, Yugi reached the ground with a soft thud. Jou, on the other hand, fell into a tub of mud and was bitten by a llama and gnawed on by a goat. Shinjitsu laughed at him as he groaned but Yugi, not hearing Shinjitsu's laughter, helped him up. They went searching for food and lodging all over town, but couldn't find any. 


	5. A Strange Dancer

Finally they came to a shabby, shady, run-down, dilapidated inn. They walked in and watched a young girl with auburn hair dance around them rowdily. She touched Yugi's face and flashed her glittering eyes at Jou. An obese man told them that they could "go upstairs with her" for 34 gold bars. "The cheapest price in town, and she's the best one." "No thanks," Yugi replied. He felt sorry for her and felt that he had seen her somewhere before. Just then, a sudden thought struck him. That girl- what if she was or is- Anzu Mazaki? "Can I borrow 17 gold bars?" Yugi asked a dark- complexioned man. The man agreed and lent Yugi the 17 gold bars. Meanwhile, Jou was asking a white haired man called 'Pegasus' for 17 gold bars; it was lent to him. "Sir, sir!" Yugi said to the fat man. "I have 34 gold bars and I want that girl." The man smiled and harshly pushed Anzu toward Yugi when he was given the gold. Then he told Anzu that she would be severely.fixed.if she messed up again. When they reached the room, Anzu cried to Yugi, "Don't harm me, good sir. I'm new here and I shall serve you for the night. I'm yours." Yugi replied back, "It's okay Anzu, I won't harm you." "Yugi, is it really you? Did the mist." But she didn't have time to complete that sentence, for at that moment, the fat man came in with another man.Malik!!! "Now this wealthy traveler has paid me twice as much as that spiky haired kid. Where is he, anyway?" For at that precise moment, Shinjitsu threw Yugi into the closet. "But no matter. This young maiden will serve you tonight. I really don't care what you do to her." Malik started tormenting her and making her suffer for nothing. "No!" screamed Yugi, crashing out of the closet, "I don't care what you do to me, she's my friend and I'm not letting you do anything to her!!!" "Ah, little Yugi, surely you know that I paid for her." "So what? I don't care, I paid for her too." "Now, don't be so selfish, you paid for her, I paid for her, why don't we share her?" "Because she's my friend," said Yugi, drawing out a knife. Malik squinted at the tiny knife. He opened his cloak and drew out a semi-Uzi saying, "You wanna play rough eh? Well I gotcha!!!" 


End file.
